


Entity Group Chat

by infographicDump (IncognitoPhenomenon)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, In Which The Entities Have A Group Chat, Multi, Texting, Yes You Read Those Character And Relationship Tags Right, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24878236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncognitoPhenomenon/pseuds/infographicDump
Summary: MeatOnTheseBones: capitalism is bad rightBEHELD: JONAH MAGNUS IS MINE UNFORTUNATELYBEHELD: SO THE ANSWER IS A RESOUNDING YESLonely: one wordLonely: lukas🕵: gd. this shit never gets old
Relationships: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, The Beholding & The Web, The Web & The Lonely
Comments: 35
Kudos: 222





	Entity Group Chat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [appending_fic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/appending_fic/gifts).



> I know.  
> I am so sorry.
> 
> Also, who's who should be pretty obvious, to a casual fan.
> 
> This fic is dedicated to Drew because he inspired it.

**FEAR CITY**

#general-hall

Lonely: hi

🕸🕸🕸: Lonely? What a surprise! You're talking, out of your own volition? And you sent the message first?

Lonely: um yes

BEHELD: GREETINGS ISOLATION

Lonely: hi again

🕸🕸🕸: So what brings you around here?

Lonely: it is important

Lonely: i would like to call a meeting

BEHELD: WAIT NO DO NOT USE THAT FUNCTION

🕸🕸🕸: Wait, whatWAIT NO DON'T

Lonely: @everyone

Lonely: huh?

BEHELD: WOW FUCK

🕸🕸🕸: AAAAAAAAA

Donnie Darko: What. The fuck.

choke kinkmaster: donotdothatitisbad

Lonely: ???

Michael: [mother]trgfucjer

Roll. Credits.: Nooooo. I. Am. Irritated.

🔪🔪🔪: HUH!?!?!?!?!?! ISOLATION!!?!?! I AM GOING TO KILL KILL YOU KILLLLL

Hunt: calm down.Be patient. Anyway lonrly what thefuckkc

wormy: wwhy

MeatOnTheseBones: >=(((

🔥: fuck you!!! what the fuck!!! h ello???!!!

🕵: 😖😬😡😡

Lonely: ???????

Donnie Darko: Did you not get the memo?

Lonely: that was the most convenient means of summons

Lonely: what is the matter

🕸🕸🕸: Are you being serious.

Donnie Darko: That "function" creates a most _irritating_ effect. Our entire beings are… _shaken_ to the core whenever someone uses it. And it is not pleasant.

🕸🕸🕸: I'm going to disable it right now.

Donnie Darko: Good.

Lonely: oh

Lonely: that explains the shivering

wormy: doess it not bother you Lonely

Lonely: not really

🔥: what!!! explain!!!

BEHELD: 👀

Lonely: do not ask me Watcher

Lonely: i can explain for myself thank you

BEHELD: 😐 😑

Lonely: you see

BEHELD: 🙂

Lonely: i am

Lonely: oh

🕸🕸🕸: No.

BEHELD: 😑

Lonely: thanks. anyway

Lonely: always shivering

Lonely: down to my

Lonely: metaphorical

Lonely: how do you call this

Lonely: underwear

🕸🕸🕸: ……..

choke kinkmaster: tagyourselfhumanpersonificationmentionstwtwtw

Lonely: ???

🕸🕸🕸: First of all, disgusting!!!!!!!! I quite hate the concept of underwear. Secondly, never mention it again.

Lonely: Understood.

Lonely: fuck off with that web i hate you

🕸🕸🕸: >::::)

🕸🕸🕸: Thirdly, I would like you to apologize!!!!!!!!

Lonely: ok

Lonely: sorry

BEHELD: FORGIVEN

wormy: vibrationss nice anywway

🕵: 🤔😌🙂

🔥: fuck you!!! but okay!!!

🕸🕸🕸: Good! Now can we get back to business?

🌩: whAt

Lonely: oh yeah s

Lonely: oh

🕸🕸🕸: Ah. The Vast has finally replied. 

🌩: AAAAA messAge slow because vAst huge lArge big neverending expAnding forever more further fArther

Roll. Credits.: Oh. No.

BEHELD: WE KNOW

🌩: moving bigger exponentiAlly increAsing incomprehensibly lorge

🕸🕸🕸: If I had ears I'd cut them off right now.

choke kinkmaster: ewwwwwwwnohatehumanears

BEHELD: WE

MeatOnTheseBones: aaghhhfjfjfjfjgk

BEHELD: KNOW

🔥: we get it!!! your metaphysical dick is huge shut up!!!

🌩: ok but why was vAst summoned

Lonely: as i was saying

🌩: wAit whAt is dick

Lonely: the meeting isnooooooo

BEHELD: A DICK IS

🕸🕸🕸: Putting a stop to this right now, lmao!!!!!!!! No need for an expository on what a dick is, Ceaseless Watcher. And shut up and don't ask that ever again, Falling Titan.

🌩: fine

BEHELD: FUCK YOU VERY MUCH I WANT TO TALK

🕸🕸🕸: You can take a gooooooood, long look at my strings and talk about those instead _later_ , Bitchy Voyeur.

Hunt: fucking helll justfinish already

Lonely: yes thank you

🕸🕸🕸: ::::)

Lonely: so

Lonely: this is about the Extinction

wormy: oooooooooo

Donnie Darko: Hm.

🕸🕸🕸: Oh?

BEHELD: I AM LOOKING

MeatOnTheseBones: okay

🔪🔪🔪: 🔪?

Hunt: yes ok i willlisten

Roll. Credits.: The. End. Will. Stop. Not. Being. Interested.

Lonely: victory

🔥: lmao idc bout that shit!!! i think!!! idk!!!! my baby avatars are gonna blaze something rn lol!!!! gl!!!

🕵: sorry too busy rn too :o) Unknowing prepare time babey!!! GL

Lonely: aw

Lonely: but okay

Lonely: long story short

choke kinkmaster: choke

Lonely: we have to stop it so we have to make a plan

Lonely: huh?

BEHELD: IGNORE THE CHOKE

choke kinkmaster: chokechoke

🕸🕸🕸: Ahem. Don't make me mute you.

choke kinkmaster: .

🕸🕸🕸: Good pile of dirt!

Lonely: um

Lonely: ok

Lonely: thank you web

🕸🕸🕸: No pro8lem, darling. ::::)

Lonely: so yeah extinction would make less people lonely

Lonely: to zero

Lonely: and um

🕸🕸🕸: Go on? You can do it.

Lonely: this would affect all of us

Lonely: in different ways

Hunt: weknow.

Lonely: um ok good i guess

BEHELD: IF YOU REQUIRE INFORMATION ABOUT THE EXTINCTION

BEHELD: I CAN GIVE YOU THE NECESSARY DETAILS

Lonely: yay

wormy: beholding you are sso usseful this period of time

BEHELD: DO YOU MEAN THE HUMAN WORD TODAY

wormy: yess! do you ssee my point y end

BEHELD: YES

BEHELD: THAT IS MY ENTIRE BEING

Lonely: so first

Lonely: beholding. can you tell us the progress of the Extinction

BEHELD: OKAY

BEHELD: HM

BEHELD: I SEE THAT THIS MAY REQUIRE A DIFFERENT APPROACH

BEHELD: HOW ABOUT YOU

BEHELD: ASK IT YOURSELF

Lonely: wait what

🔪🔪🔪: HUH!?!?!?!?$,#,/?#,,/

🕸🕸🕸: Excuse me?!

 **_The-World-Is-Always-Ending_ ** **wishes to join the chat!**

Lonely: wh

Lonely: oh HELL no

wormy: NONONONO

🕸🕸🕸: WATCHER WHAT THE FUCK?

BEHELD: IT WILL BE HERE ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE

BEHELD: WE WILL KICK IT OUT AFTER WE ASK IT AWAY

🕸🕸🕸: Uuuuh, h8w a8out we NOT give it AAAAAAAANYMORE **_power_ ** and hold on reality than it already _has_????????

🕸🕸🕸: And the questions are going to 8e all a8out stopping it so i do not think it will like 8eing _asked_ about that, you fucking dum8ass!!!!!!!!

BEHELD: OH OKAY

BEHELD: SORRY

**Invite declined.**

**Invite dcjgn**

**_The-World-Is-Always-Ending_ ** **wishes to join the chat!**

BEHELD: UM

**Invite declined.**

**_The-World-Is-Always-Ending_ ** **wishes to join the chat!**

BEHELD: OH SHIT

Lonely: what the fuck

**Invite declined.**

**_The-World-Is-Always-Ending_ ** **wishes to join the chat!**

🕸🕸🕸: Watcher.

**Invite declined.**

**_The-World-Is-Always-Ending_ ** **wishes to join the chat!**

🌩: whAt did vAst come bAck to

Hunt: hllyshitt

**Invite declined.**

**🕸🕸🕸: WATCHER** **_, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE._ **

MeatOnTheseBones: vibes bad!!

Donnie Darko: Wow.

Donnie Darko: I can see where the stupidity of your latest Avatar comes from.

Roll. Credits.: Agreeable.

 **_The-World-Is-Always-Ending_ ** **wishes to join the chat!**

**Invite declined.**

Lonely: someone stop it

 **_The-World-Is-Always-Ending_ ** **wishes to join the chat because it heard it was being talked about!!**

**Invite declined.**

BEHELD: SHIT

🔥: bitch!!! 

🕵: hey lol why is there so many noti

🕵: oh my GOD LMAOOOO

 **_The-World-Is-Always-Ending_ ** **wishes to join the chat!**

**Invite fucking declined! Stop!**

**_The-World-Is-Always-Ending_ ** **wishes to join the chat!**

Lonely: what have i done

🔪🔪🔪: NO NO THIS IS ALL BEHOLDINGS FAULT

🔪🔪🔪: EVER HEARD OF CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT YOU PERVERSE WATCHER??!?! EYE IN THE SKY SHIT CRUSTY IDIOT!!!*?112?! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!,,$ YOU ARE CAT!&;$

🕸🕸🕸: I'LL BE **RIGHT** **_FUCKING_ ** **8ESIDE YOU ON THAT, SLAUGHTER.**

**Invite DECLINED!**

MeatOnTheseBones: uwaahhhjgngngn

choke kinkmaster: wow

BEHELD: AAAAAAAAA

Michael: [What a great day this is turning out to be.]

**Author's Note:**

> The Dark is supposed to have blacked out text and the reader would have to highlight it to see what they're saying, but. Er. Yeah, I don't know how to do that.


End file.
